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About Deviant is not a zombieFemale/Canada Group :iconkidsandfun42: KidsandFun42
 
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I will always admit to a certain level of both amazement and shock when someone trusts me with their offspring. To anyone who knows me well enough to request such a favour my general dislike of children should be well known, yet they ask anyway. Somehow, despite my better judgement and with the promise of money being involved, I agree to watch the children... this does not end well. It has never ended well and it never wills, I have all the maternal instincts of a pit viper and I am not skilled at keeping children entertained. I also fail at resolving conflict without the threat of violence, cooking for picky eaters, telling stories with 'voices', tying shoes, getting ready for bed and entertaining something with the attention span of a dead goldfish.

I once locked my three year old cousin in his room when he wouldn't stop crying and turned the lights off, my reasoning being that the lack of visual and audio stimuli would cause him to stop, after all, it worked with my Furby. Then again, I also threw my Furby out of a moving vehicle when I couldn't get it to shut up... my cousin is lucky he stopped crying because I did only have Furby related experience to draw from and at that point I was willing to do whatever worked.

Yet despite my track record and spoken dislike of children, people keep entrusting me with something so fragile that if I ever came to my wits end... look all I'm saying is kids can be clumsy and there are a lot of stairs in my house. Stairs, countertops, light sockets really all I would have to do is stop paying attention for about five minutes and the kids will take care of themselves.

Just saying.

deviantID

Azie
is not a zombie
Canada
Current Residence: Chair
Favourite genre of music: Jazz and Rock
Personal Quote: Never pet the burning zombie dog.
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:iconcrazyrabidpony:
CrazyRabidPony Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
Did you know that 'The Lion and the Lamb' now has 15 chapters?
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:iconmanicamnesiac:
ManicAmnesiac Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconkannasireyu:
KannaSireyu Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011  Student General Artist
Thank you for the fave! :D
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:iconarshnessdreaming:
ArshnessDreaming Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011  Student Digital Artist
[link] Congratulations!
:iconponytrophyplz:
You won second place in :iconponytopia:'s Pon-o-lantern Contest!

Thank you for participating!
You'll be featured at Ponytopia!
Please note us with a few pieces you'd like us to feature, otherwise we'll select them.
Please also note :iconjenop12: for your free pony art!
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:iconthedescendantofkehan:
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you again for the new Fave...and the marriage proposal!:D
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:iconrayhiros:
Rayhiros Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Alot of thanks for the fav. :3
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:iconthedescendantofkehan:
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the Fave!:)
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:iconcanecadepapel:
CanecaDePapel Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011  Student
Thank you so much for the favourite, man!
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